Angels (as explained by children)
I only know the names of two angels. Hark and Harold - Gregory, 5
Everybody’s got it all wrong. Angels don’t wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it - Olive, 9
It’s not easy to become an angel! First, you gotta die. Then you go to heaven, then there’s still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes - Matthew, 9
Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else - Mitchell, 7
Angels don’t eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows! - Jack, 6
Angels talk all the way while they’re flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you go dead - Daniel, 9
When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. When he lets out is breath, somewhere there’s a tornado - Reagan, 10
Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go south for the winter - Sara, 6
Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who’s a very good carpenter - Jared, 8
All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses - Antonio, 9
My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth - Katelynn, 9
Some of the angels help heal sick animals and pets. And if they don’t make the animals get better, they help the child get over it - Vicki, 8
What I don’t get about angels is why, when someone is in love, they shoot arrows at them - Sarah, 7
How God Created Children (and Grandchildren)
To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or even students.., here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was ‘DON’T!’
‘Don’t what?’ Adam replied.
‘Don’t eat the forbidden fruit,’ God said.
‘Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve.. We have forbidden fruit!’
‘No Way!’
‘Yes way!’
‘Do NOT eat the fruit,’ said God.
‘Why?’
‘Because I am your Father and I said so,’ God replied, wondering why He hadn’t stopped creation after making the elephants.
A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was fuming. ‘Didn’t I tell you not to eat the fruit?’ God asked.
‘Uh huh,’ Adam replied.
‘Then why did you?’ said the Father.
‘I don’t know,’ said Eve.
‘She started it!’ Adam said.
‘Did not!’
‘Did so!’
‘DID NOT!’
Having had it with the two of them, God’s punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN TUE STORY!
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven’t taken it, don’t be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said when they were near by
5. The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.
AND FINALLY:
If you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:
‘Take 2 aspirin’ and ‘keep away from children!'
Prayers
If you said a prayer today
And failed in your request,
It may be that the Master felt
‘T’would not be for the best
